Scars On Our Hearts
by Misha Schmidt
Summary: "Let's take it to the next step, because we've never been here before..." Each step in a relationship leaves a scar in a person's heart... Something that could never be changed. Kames.


**This is based off the song 'Next Step'. I love it and I hope you guys like it too :) I've been working on this for like... forever but I've never finished it cause I'm a horrible person and a terrible procrastinator. Title is taken from "Just Give Me A Reason" by P!NK.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the song, and the title.**

**Scars On Our Hearts**

* * *

_Life is weird... You can go from strangers. To being friends. To being more than friends. To being practically strangers again.- Unknown_

* * *

**Step One **

(Kendall's POV)

_Step one, we were just two friends having fun_

"And then I say, 'Let me tie your shoes, cause I don't want you falling for anyone else'," Carlos says, and the three of us burst out laughing at another one of the Latino's terrible pick-up lines.

I wipe fake tears from the corner of my eyes, my mouth still split into a big-ass grin. "Jesus Christ, Carlos, you're despicable," he says, and James looks at me like an alien.

"Since when you're the smarty-pants? Do you even know what that means?" He asks, sticking his tongue out at me.

I shrug. "I think I'm spending too much time around Logie here," I say, punching Logan on his shoulder and he scrunches up his face.

"Don't touch me," Logan retorts playfully, poking me. "I don't want your stupidity rubbing off on me."

I roll my eyes, grinning, before looking back at Carlos, who'd been surveying the scene with a smile on his face. "So what'd she say, man?"

Carlos sighs. "She punched me, and said that I just insulted her pumps that she'd paid 300 bucks for."

James and Logan immediately bust up laughing. "You... insulted... her _shoes_," James breathes between laughter.

Logan snorts, and I can't help but join in the amusement. Eventually, it's just the four of us laughing each other, poking the other, sharing jokes because, hell, we're best friends, and that's what we do.

* * *

**Step Two**

(James's POV)

_Step two, I couldn't take my mind of off you_

I didn't know when it happened, but it did, and it caught me by surprise. Over the past few years, Kendall and I had grown closer than I expected.

Except, the problem was, I couldn't keep my mind off him.

I didn't know when I fell for him, or when I even became gay, but all I knew was that when Kendall hit puberty, he practically turned into a Greek God. Golden hair, bright green eyes, toned stomach, beautiful voice.

Everything about him was practically perfect.

I couldn't stop thinking about him; he was on my mind all the fucking time. And it pissed me off. I would never look as good as him, and even though he came out as bisexual to the boys and I a few months ago, he'd never date me.

But, fuck. He's so fucking sexy.

I need to stop thinking about him, but I can't help myself.

* * *

**Step Three**

(Kendall's POV)

_Step three, is when you put your arms around me_

"So, ladies," James says smirking at the three women in front of us. "Do you want to come to our party?" he asks, flashing them a James Diamond signature smile.

They all blush, before the middle one answers, twirling her hair in her fingers, obviously undressing me with her eyes. I shift uncomfortably.

"Depends. Is there going to be anything... interesting?" she asks suggestively.

A flare of rage and jealousy shoots through me, but I push it down, forcing a smile. "Of course. He's going to be there, what more do you want?" I say, gesturing to James, tasting bile in my throat.

They giggle, and strut away, before James turns to me. "What's wrong, Ken?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, forcing a laugh.

"You look... contorted. Are you still missing Jo?" he asks, referring to my fake girlfriend who moved away a few weeks before.

I sigh, because James would never know the truth about my crush on him. But, of course he takes my sigh for something else, because he pulls me into a hug.

"Don't worry, Ken," he whispers into my hair, "I'm here for you, if you need a shoulder to cry on."

I'm having a freaking panic attack because _James's fucking arms are around me_. He holds on to me a little longer than I expect because I laugh forcibly.

"James?" I asks softly, "You can't let go now... ha."

I clear my throat as he tightens his arms around me and I snake my arms around him, patting him once, twice on the back, before unwilling gently disengaging myself from him.

"Sorry, Ken," he says, smiling at me. "I just hadn't hugged you in a while. I miss hugging you."

I want to hug him again, I really do. I love the feel of his body against me, so I stretch out my hands to him, and he immediately comes back into my arms, fitting perfectly against me.

But now, something's changed, and he's gripping me as if his life depends on me. Its a few minutes before he pulls away, and there's something in his eyes, something like almost pain. I clench my teeth, turning away forcefully.

What's happening to us?

* * *

**Step Four**

(James's POV)

_Step four, we weren't just friends anymore_

"C'mon James," Kendall yells, banging on the door. I roll my eyes. I love the guy, but he really needs to understand. I need to look beautiful! I sprayed my hair one more time with my Cuda spray, and opened the door with a flourish.

An hour later, the entire apartment is filled with half-drunken teenagers. I get lost in the crowd, rolling my hips against whoever the fuck was in front of me. I feel someone tap on my shoulder and I turn around, my eyes half-lidded.

I've probably drunk about ten drinks so far, and I'm now starting to feel the effects. I have an extremely high resistance, what can I say?

Kendall's behind me, and he's not even close to being drunk. I can tell, but he's playing it out. We're pressed up against each other, and he snakes a hand around my waist. My heart races, and suddenly he's kissing me, and I'm kissing him back.

I feel as if I'm going to drown, so I grip on to Kendall, pulling him impossibly closer, and holding him tight.

We part, and even in the dark, his eyes are opened wide, shocked. "James-" he says, but I don't give him time to finish that sentence. Frankly, I'm horny, and I could care less about what he wants to say.

I pull him in for a kiss, but he stops me, because he's just too fucking stubborn. "James, what was that?" he's begging me to answer, and I could see that he's scared.

"I like you, okay, idiot," I giggle, around and I snake my arms and pull him down, kissing the shock off his face.

* * *

**Step Five**

(Kendall's POV)

_Step five, is when I left those tears in your eyes_

"What the _fuck_, James!" I shout at the brunet who's standing there, defiantly looking at me.

"Don't yell at me, Kendall!" James says, eyes narrowing. "All you have to do is tell me why you told Jo that you still loved her," he says, voice rising, waving my phone in my face.

"I _told_ you, James," I grit out, barely. "She was one of my best friends. I love her as a _friend_,jackass. She was only pretending to be my girlfriend. Why are you so frustrating?"

I throw my hands up in the air, and groan. "You're probably the most annoying person ever," I mutter, and James stops, and stares at me, hurt.

Hurt? He's got no right to be hurt. I roll my eyes at him.

"Please don't say that, Kendall," James begs, but right now, I could care less. I know James's extremely sensitive, but I just shrug that off. He started this fight, I'm going to see it though.

"Why wouldn't I say it? It's fucking true," I yell and he flinches. "You're stupid and annoying and I don't even know why I'm your boyfriend. I give everything to be with you and this is how you repay me, you... you _jerk_."

Tears pool at the bottom of his eyes. "Kendall, I'm sor-"

I'm seeing red. I'm so mad now, my head is pounding. "I. Don't. Care." I growl, and I know, somewhere deep in the back of my head, that I'm so overreacting to this, but I'm too stubborn to even listen to myself.

James wipes his tears away furiously, almost as if he didn't want me to see them, but it's too late. "Kendall, please. Baby, I'm sorry."

I just shake my head, and walk out the door, leaving him crying there.

* * *

**Step Six**

(James's POV)

_Step six, I don't even know what I did_

"Hey, Kendall, do you wanna go somewhere?" I ask the blonde, smiling up at him. Ever since our first fight, the blonde's been distant, and I wish I hadn't started it.

I mean, I _knew_ that him and Jo weren't really together, so why'd I do it? I'm not sure. Maybe I was feeling insecure. But since that day, it was almost as if he didn't trust me anymore.

He shrugs, and I sigh. He's staring at the TV, almost as if he's lost. I have a feeling that it's more than our last fight that's bothering him.

"Ken, what's wrong?" I ask him softly, and he turns to look at me sideways, just for a mere second before turning to gaze at the TV.

I get up, walking to the kitchen, seeing Carlos and Logan there. "Guys, why is Kendall acting so weird?"

They shrug. "Don't worry about it. It'll blow over." Logan says, and they walk out the door, before I could reply.

I sigh, Kendall's really mad at me, and I'm not sure why.

I take the jar of cookies on the counter and go back to sit next to him, turning to look at him. "Ken, are you still mad at me for last time?"

A subtle shake of his head shows that he's not. "Then what?" I press on, not seeing the tenseness in his shoulder.

He turns and glares at me, and I stare back, confused. He turns off the TV and storms off, leaving me there, bewildered.

Why is he mad at me? I don't even know what I did.

* * *

**Step Seven**

(Kendall's POV)

_Step seven, happened when I walked out the door_

I sit on the bed, head in my hands. I don't think James knows why I'm mad at him. How could he? He didn't even know that I was there.

A soft knock comes on the door, and it opens a bit, to reveal James. I narrow my eyes. He comes in, a bit timidly.

"Kendall, what's wrong? At least tell me what I did," he pleads with me, and I stand up, moving away from him.

"That day, you told me you were going to practice with Camille on her acting," I say and he pales quickly.

"Kendall-," he starts, but I don't want to hear it.

"I come back early, to take you to dinner. And I find you and that ... that _slut_ there, making out," I grit out, hands curled into a fist.

"Kendall- Ken, it was on the script... I-I had no choice," James whispers, but I don't listen to him.

"What kind of on-the-script-kiss turns into a full-blown make-out?!" I yell at him, slamming my fist onto the dresser, and James flinches.

"I was going to tell you-" he says, but I'm not even hearing him anymore.

"I _was_ waiting for you to tell me, I waited for five days, James," I grit out. "Forget it. I can't do this anymore," I say, and tears fall down his cheeks.

"W-what?" he stammers out.

I don't bother to answer him as I walk out, slamming the door behind me.

* * *

**Step Eight**

(James's POV)

_Step eight, we aren't even friends anymore_

I stand behind Logan and Carlos, wishing that Kendall would say something, anything to me. After we broke up about 2 years ago, he went full into life, ignoring me completely. He got a girlfriend, a good job, and still stayed in the band.

But through all those years, he didn't mutter a word to me. Only the words that he needed to say, other than that, nothing.

My heart's racing. Last year, he went away, and here we were, watching and waiting for him to come through the doors of airport.

Finally he comes through, and my heart stops. He's look so good, golden skin, blazing green eyes. Our eyes lock, and I could almost feel all the emotions I buried, resurfacing.

Then he tears his eyes away from mine, smiling at the girl next to him... Jo, who looks as beautiful as the day she left. Logan and Carlos rush to embrace him, but I can't move, no matter how much I try to will myself.

I force a smile onto my face as Jo comes up to me, hugging me. I hug her back awkwardly, patting her once, twice, on her back, before pushing her away gently. I want to say something, anything to Kendall, maybe "Hey" or "I missed you" or even "I finally beat 'Los at COD", but nothing comes out. His eyes slides over me as if I'm not even there.

I really, really screwed up this time. And it was finally obvious that I didn't only destroy out relationship, but also our friendship.

We... we aren't even friends anymore.

**I hope you all enjoyed it :) Please review? Thanks...**

**xoxo**

**Chelzi**


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